Struggles

There's nothing that puts your weightloss journey into perspective like a shopping trip.

My Mother's Day gift was a few hours to myself to do whatever I wanted -- which was exactly what I wanted. It's not that I didn't want to be with my kids or husband, it's that I rarely ever get the opportunity to go shop by myself, unless you count the occaisional grocery trip, which, in fact, doesn't count in my opinion.

I don't really shop for clothing for myself anymore, either. I just pick up a few Tshirts and call it a day. After a brief trip to the mall while home with my super cute, young and stylish sister, I was inspiried to try to look like a human being instead of the dreary, comfy clothes mess I'm usually sporting. I got a few cute things with her help, mostly because she was encouraging and told me that I looked great in them.

However, yesterday I was on my own, and found myself unable to pick out anything without first thinking that I wouldn't even look good in it. When I did find a couple of things, I tried them on and wanted to throw my cell phone into the mirror. Then, I felt like an idiot for even shopping at that store because it was obvious that I was way too old to be there.

UGH!

I didn't come home with anything other than a few pairs of earrings, but I dreamed of all the cute outfits I could be wearing if I could just get the rest of this weight off. I have said it before, but I know my body won't look the same when it gets there, but I can see all of those 10 pounds in my arms, in my middle and in my butt.

I weighed in this morning at 159.4. I really want to be under 150, which was where I was my happiest before. I've been striving for 153, but haven't gotten there yet. Maybe with thoughts of cute summer clothes as my inspiration, I may make it this time.

What a struggle this whole journey has been. Oy vey.