I've been back from vacation for almost a week and I have yet to really get back into the swing of things. My overwhelming lack of sleep added to my stress level has just compounded in to food failure.
I haven't gone off the deep end, per say, but there hasn't been one point counted in over 2 weeks. And I know for certain that I MUST count points or I will guesstimate and think I haven't eaten enough points when I most certainly did. I also haven't gotten the chance to do my stupid work out, either. Time is NOT on my side these days.
To make matters worse, I decided to try to look nice for dinner at the station with The Husband. BAH! Funny. I can't find anything that fits right, so I try on one outfit and take a picture of myself to see how I look because I truly believe that mirrors lie and the camera is the only one who will tell me if I'm fat or not.
I am one of those girls with the barrel belly who I used to judge for trying too hard to look cute in their tight shirts, with their belly flab busting the seams while they suffer from a case of "Donelap's Disease". (Their belly "DONELAPPED" over their belt).
Note to self: No judging anyone. Ever. Never ever.
My self esteem has taken a hard hit these past few days. I fall into the pit of "woah is me" dispair and I can't seem to get myself out. Even when someone tells me how I great I look, I automatically think they must be lying to spare my feelings. What a horrible cycle.
So, I've decided to eat a healthy meal with The Husband and kids, and then after I put the kids to bed tonight, I will not clean, I will not finish my Thank You notes, I will not do laundry. I will do my work out and sweat my ass off. I gotta get it in my head that I can't just stay like this...I have to work at it. No one is going to make me skinny again but me.
I'm doing it.
And *I* can't stop me.